The Survival of Friendship

First of all, Happy Earth Day! If this virus has taught us anything, it’s how powerful nature can be in lifting our spirits. Therefore, I’m sending a huge shout out to the moon and the sun, the flowers and the birds, and my beloved breeze. Nature makes quarantining bearable (even enjoyable), and I am beyond grateful for it. Thank you!

            In other news, I had planned to write about the power of acquaintances today, but as I was plotting that out, my best friend from home, Katrina, had a horrific car accident. The driver of a truck overcorrected after going off the road and hit Katrina head on. The good news is that Kat survived, and although she is braving a broken sternum and a variety of bruises, she is going to be okay. 

            As I write about this, I want to make certain that this is about her and how she has inspired me since we met in fourth grade. Yes, her accident shook me up. We had just had a serious conversation about sunscreen 15 minutes before she crashed, so you can imagine the switching of gears that took place in my head. The first thing I thought was, “Thank God that’s not the last time I spoke with her.”

            Her accident was made more frightening by the COVID-19 crisis. The hospital is the last place anyone wants to go during a global pandemic, but when you have an accident as bad as hers, that’s the first place they take you. Kat had to spend one night in the hospital, and because of the coronavirus, her husband, Ryan, and her two sons weren’t allowed to visit. My heart broke as I thought of her in the hospital all by herself during such a scary time on so many levels. She managed to text us a few times, and then she finally got some sleep. 

            The next morning, she and I were texting about all of her medical stuff, and then she sent the following text to me, “Lori…I am so lucky and blessed.” I just stared at my phone, completely struck by her grace. Not only had she been in a terrible accident, but Kat also had to temporarily close her business (she’s an aesthetician, hence the sunscreen conversation) because of COVID-19. Her stress level was already at capacity, and then this happened. I was mad that she had to endure another traumatic event, and here she was gleaning the goodness. I don’t think I’ve ever been more proud of a friend. 

            Kat and I’s friendship has had more ups and downs than a yo-yo, but we love each other to the core. Growing up we were Kate & Allie— remember that show? Kat taught me about cool music (The Cult and The Cure) and even cooler clothes (Concord peeps, remember Brooke’s?). She played a large part in making me the person I am, and I’ll be forever grateful to her for that. Later on I visited her when she lived in Los Angeles (we spied on a men’s water polo team practice at Pepperdine), and years after that, we were in each other’s weddings. 

            Last summer when mom got sick, I went straight to Katrina. She was there through all of the hard conversations and tears. She held me when I was shaking with fear and anger. When we had to put mom in a nursing home temporarily, Kat and I did a drive-by of the facility. It was similar to the days in high school when we’d drive by a cute boy’s house — similar but very different. When mom was in said nursing home, Kat stopped by to file her nails. 

            There are so many times when I could have been a better friend, but Kat loves me as I am, and over the years I’ve learned to do the same. I admire her so much for how hard she works, how smart she is and how tough she is. And now I admire her for her perspective. Though she told me how lucky she was from her hospital bed, she needs to know that we’re the lucky ones because she’s still with us.