Before I woke up this morning, Jefferson, one of my awesome cats, climbed on top of me and nestled into my chest. Obviously, this makes waking up, which for me is already a miracle that rivals turning water into wine, even more difficult. Somehow I mustered the energy to get out of bed — bad call.
The day started innocent enough, but I’ve been wrestling with a problem (and here’s where I’m going to be mysterious to protect the idiots involved in this saga), and this morning the problem discovered my boiling point. Suddenly I was filled with anger. The kind of anger where anything sets you off, like coffee filters sticking together and being out of bananas. By the time my children were ready for school, I was crying my eyes out in perfect meltdown mode.
My sweet son gave me hugs, as well as his stuffed cat appropriately named Fat Cat. My daughter hugged me and then looked me straight in the eye and said, “Let’s get to school.” Believe I understand and appreciate the role reversal going on here (first wink).
I wore sunglasses to school because the sun was finally out and also because I didn’t want the teachers in carpool to see what at mess I was. I managed to go for a run and eventually made it home. That’s when things went south.
I started crying again. This time balling, and I couldn’t stop. I called my dad for our morning check-in (I have aging parents, so the morning check-in call is now a thing in my life), and I continued balling. Suddenly I was the college freshman calling home because she bombed her Development of Broadcasting exam all over again. (But to be fair, it was a weed out class, and the teacher was a complete self-obsessed bag of air who wore these weird moccasin boots that he could not pull off.) Regardless, there I was crying to my dad, and there he was saying he was coming right over to help me. (second wink)
In the meantime, I called one of my best friends to tell her about my problem and to seek advice. This is a big deal for me because I’ve had trust issues since fourth grade, but that’s a blog post for another time. Anyway, she was awesome, more than awesome, and I felt better. (third wink)
A few minutes later my parents arrived, and we had one of those good conversations that make you forget about all the times they’ve driven you up various kinds of walls. It was just good. Between that and talking to my friend, I was stable enough to go on with the rest of my day.
Later in the afternoon, when I was actually calm enough to get some work done, my doorbell rang, which is weird because I’ve been laying off Amazon and none of the neighborhood kids were out of school yet. I looked in the driveway and saw my friend’s car. I opened the door to pink (my favorite color) carnations and a big hug. It was one of the nicest things anyone has ever done for me, and I will never forget it. (super fourth wink)
So tonight I’m getting ready for bed, and I’m really trying to muster all the good vibes I can for a better tomorrow. (If Jefferson jumps on my chest in the morning, I might take it as a sign and turn the alarm clock off, we’ll see. He obviously has some sort of portal into the future that I don’t have access to.)
Regardless, instead of thinking about all the anguish and anxiety that led to today’s meltdown, I’m going to focus on the goodness that came from it. My parents got to feel like parents today, not the aging mom and dad with medical problems that they’ve felt like for the past couple of years. I reached out to a friend, and they listened and supported me with love and flowers. That’s goodness of the highest order. That’s the kind of goodness that will carry me into tomorrow and beyond.