Month: July 2020

I have long suspected that my children are smarter than I am, and last Thursday, my daughter proved it. We were winding down our vacation on Bald Head Island, one of my favorite places on the planet, and I was sulking about having to go home. (Picture a toddler kicking her sand bucket across the beach in disgust and that was me.) In the middle of my whining rant, Margot said. “Mom, if we were here all of the time, we wouldn’t appreciate it.” 

            Good God, she was right, really right, but I still didn’t want to leave.  

            Last week was the best vacation our family ever had — really. Sure, Bald Head, with its sylvan environment punctuated with Kermit green marshes, boutique deer population and precious grocery store, is an awesome place, but it was more than that. 

            We had this same trip planned for last year, but we had to cancel it at the last minute when mom was given four to six weeks to live. Then six months after mom passed away, we entered COVID-19 world, where anything you’re accustomed to is stripped away or rearranged to the point where you no longer recognize it. Needless to say, it’s been a rough year. 

            Like so many families who have suffered or are suffering more, my family needed space to heal and simply connect with each other, as well as nature. That’s what happened as soon as we stepped off of the ferry, and that’s why I didn’t want to leave. But as Margot pointed out, the power of getting away is in the return.

            So on Saturday, we took the ferry back to the mainland, loaded our minivan and returned to our Covid Cabana (I made that up!) with a sense of renewal and perspective. On the way home, I made the executive decision to make our house as peaceful as the house we rented on vacation, and the first step of that process is clearing out clutter. Though we’re not hoarders, we have a lot of stuff, stuff we don’t need and stuff that fills space we do need. 

            With a month until remote learning begins, I vowed to clean out as much of our home as I can to give our family a fresh start. For the past two nights, I’ve been going through jewelry boxes, looking at class rings, beaded bracelets and my mom’s butterfly brooches. While helping me, Margot spotted a purple plastic half-heart on a cord. “You have the other half,” she said with surprise, adding that she had the same necklace upstairs but didn’t know who had the missing piece. 

            I smiled, remembering how we won the “Best Friend” necklace at the beach playing skee ball (my favorite sport). She was a toddler and when she looked at the necklace with her big blue eyes and gave me the other half, I felt like I had won the lottery. Of all the people in the world, she chose me to be her best friend. I’ve kept the necklace in my jewelry box ever since. It’s worth more than diamonds, and seeing her face light up when she saw it the other night was priceless. 

            Moments like these are the ones that we have to cling to in our uncertain world no matter if we’re on vacation or not. This is the stuff you can’t plan or pay for, these are the Winks of Goodness that keep us going when we want to kick the sand bucket and run away. Thank goodness our children know better.

Lots of Winks to report this week as we scoot farther into summer. Not gonna lie, I was super nervous about the Fourth of July, as it is my mother’s birthday, but it turned out to be a pretty wonderful day thanks to family and friends. I know she was looking down on us wearing her gorgeous smile and a fabulous red, white and blue ensemble. Happy Birthday, mom!

            On another note, we’re heading to the beach tomorrow for a week, so I’m doing a social media fast while we’re gone. I need to reboot my soul, and the best way to do that is to remove myself from hostile postings and the compare and despair game that is Facebook. (I hate that I have to use FB to promote my blog, but that’s how it works.)

            Anyway, have a wonderful week, keep looking for goodness and get outside! Here are this week’s Weekly Winks. 

            Every Friday I share the Winks of Goodness I experienced throughout the week because I’ve found that writing down and formally acknowledging these suckers gives them more power. I encourage you to share your own Weekly Winks on my site or on social media. Look around and write it down — share the goodness.   

Saturday — Independence Day! I woke up scared of how I would handle the day, but it turned out to be a fun day of family, friends and food. Thanks to everyone who made it so special!

Sunday — My neighbors left me a key to their house while they went out of town so that I could play with their perfectly sweet doggies. I got up early just so I could walk them by myself (sans kids). Love my furry friends!

Monday — My Soul Sister popped by her in convertible for an impromptu joy ride. We had a blast cruising around in the sunshine!

Tuesday — Graydon made me a delicious breakfast, complete with a set table, and Margot and I had a magical day in my hometown (see the Hand in Hand Through Time entry from July 8). Love my Tater Tots to pieces!

Wednesday — I loved hearing Margot sing Kool & The Gang’s Celebration as we drove around town in the minivan. My mom loved that song!

Thursday — I had dinner outside with two of my best friends, and on the way home I heard Duran Duran’s Ordinary World. The chorus of this song struck me like never before:

“But I won’t cry for yesterday.
There’s an ordinary world
somehow I have to find.
And as I try to make my way
to the ordinary world,
I will learn to survive.”

Friday — I had an inspiring essay session with a rising senior. I’m really excited about my new writing venture – Show Don’t Tell Essays. 

            Get outside this week and replenish your soul! That’s what I’m gonna do!

Yesterday, Margot and I drove to Concord to have lunch with her teacher. As a native, it’s always a treat to putter around Downtown Concord with its cute shops, restaurants and personal history. Looking in the current storefronts, I remember what used to fill those windows when I was a little girl. There was Robinson’s, mom’s favorite boutique. It’s now a fancy coffee shop. Kester Three, where I used to buy the nicest stickers as a little girl, is now a mercantile, and the five and dime where my mother worked when she first met my dad is now the Cabarrus Creamery, home of the best ice cream in the world when it’s open — and that’s where the sting begins. 

            The creamery hasn’t been open since the pandemic began. I don’t know anything about when it might open. I just know that all of the young and old folks who usually sit on its benches during the summertime devouring lemon ice cream and peanut butter shakes aren’t there. And those empty benches are just another reminder of what’s been lost to the coronavirus. 

            Regardless, Margot and I were determined to have fun, and that we did. As she showed her Bare Book (big writing project) to Mrs. Greene, I was the proudest mom in the world — and the saddest. These two have such a special connection, and though they were able to maintain it as we dove into crisis learning this past spring, it’s still not the same as being together every day. 

            Like millions of parents across the world, we’re trying to figure out what school is going to look like this fall. Yesterday, we got an e-mail explaining our present options, but if there are any guarantees with COVID-19, it’s that things will change. (It’s no coincidence that “pivot” is the hot word right now.) Our children’s school is doing a fantastic job of making some incredibly hard decisions, but my heart still breaks for all of the changes that must be made to keep us safe. 

            The other day I flipped through my planner to the week leading up to the shut down. A week before school closed, John took the day off so we could have a date breakfast before going to The Tots’ play at school. The following Sunday, Margot and I ventured to Charlotte for a Girl Scout celebration of the women’s suffrage movement. On Tuesday, my soul sister and I went to parent advisory at our high school, and the next night, The Tots and I went to Wednesday night dinner at church, where we talked with friends about the chili they were going to make for the upcoming chili cook-off that never happened.  

            After 16 weeks of COVID-19, I can’t imagine doing any of these things. Sometimes it hurts when I do. None of us knew the severity of what was coming, and we surely didn’t know that this pandemic would be laced with a social justice revolution.

During the past couple of months, I’ve seen and heard things that fill me with such sadness and anguish. People I had tremendous respect for have shocked me with their bias and beliefs, and common sense seems to be optional for folks these days. It’s so easy to let it get to me, but what does that accomplish? Not a damn thing. 

            So as I struggle to digest our country right now, I look to my children because at this point, they really are the smartest people in the room. Margot took extra care to wear a special outfit for Mrs. Greene yesterday, which prompted me to wash my hair and wear a dress (gasp!) to lunch. 

            After lunch, Margot and I walked through downtown to a couple of shops. She held my hand as we crossed Union Street, and just like that I was with my mother running errands. The circle that I believe in so much struck my heart like lightning, and it felt so good to be happy and present. It was a much-needed reminder that though the downtown shops have changed, along with our world, some things haven’t. Things like a mother and daughter making an adventure out of a summer afternoon, hand in hand.