Graydon made us all “fun passes” for our upcoming long weekend at Lake Tillery. He used his calculator to crack the fun code.
Photography by Lori K. Tate
Every Friday I share the Winks of Goodness I experienced throughout the week in the hopes of inspiring you to do the same thing. I’ve found that writing down and formally acknowledging these suckers gives them more power. I encourage you to share your own Weekly Winks on my site (still figuring some technical stuff out on that if you have trouble) or social media. So look around and write it down — share the goodness.
Saturday — A lovely lady was selling clay bead necklaces at the Davidson Fall Art Festival (super fun festival, by the way) for $20. She planned to give all the money she earned to the Lake Norman Community Health Clinic, so I bought one. There’s nothing better than being fashionable for a good cause. Props to this woman for spreading goodness.
Sunday— Butterflies were everywhere. Two yellow ones danced around our patio in the morning, and later I spotted five yellow butterflies whirling around my geraniums. Then on my in-law’s patio, a butterfly flew right by my face. I saw another one as soon as I met my friend at the pool. She said she had been there for an hour and hadn’t seen any butterflies until I arrived. Thanks, mom.
Monday — Got a hug from Mr. Bob at The Fresh Market. I hadn’t seen him in a while, so it was good to catch up. His mother also had Alzheimer’s, so he knows about this bastard of a disease.
Tuesday— Saw the old lady booking it up Catawba Avenue this morning. I hadn’t seen her lately, so I’m glad she’s okay. For more info on her, read the Take a Good Look Around entry from June.
Wednesday— Spotted a huge (I mean Clifford-like) dog sticking his head out of the sunroof of a Cadillac at the Harris Teeter in Davidson. He was so happy!
Thursday — Graydon made “fun passes” for our upcoming long weekend at Lake Tillery by using his calculator. Love him so much!
Friday— The Tots are so excited about going to their first high school football game tonight. I can’t wait to share Friday Night Lights with them. Go Spartans!
A Wink of Goodness in the sky at the Davidson College track. It’s all part of my Slow Burn.
Photography by Lori K. Tate
Sometimes in bed at night I get the heebie-jeebies. I’m sure there’s a more scientific term for this, but I studied journalism in college, not medicine, and every time I Google a medical ailment, I leave the search certain that whatever I have is going to kill me. That said, we’re ditching WebMD and going with heebie-jeebies.
I never know when it’s going to happen until I find myself twisting and turning every few seconds through the night in search of a peaceful state. Moving to the living room couch usually remedies the situation, but right now the couch isn’t helping, and it’s not nighttime. I’m feeling the heebie-jeebies constantly, and I can’t seem to figure out a way to stop it.
Change in life is a given, and I’m usually a big fan of it, but right now I’m not sure what to do with it. It’s been a little over a month since my beautiful mother stopped breathing, and in that month, I haven’t been able to catch my breath. I haven’t been this tired since I had newborn twins, and I find it ironic that it takes just as much energy to bring someone into the world as it takes to usher them out.
Grief is exhausting, and unless you’ve been in the throes of it, which we all will be at some point, you don’t realize that. No matter what form it takes — crying, yelling, sitting, sleeping, shopping, running — it’s exhausting. And it’s cruel how it plays hide and seek with your emotions. On the days you think you’ll be miserable, you wake up feeling fine. Then a regular old day will turn into the Super Bowl of sorrow when you hear a certain song or phrase that connects you to your missing piece.
I’m not someone to sit still, but I’m getting better at it because I know that’s what I need to do right now. I don’t want to rush through all of this without gleaning what I need from it to move on in a healthy, maybe even enlightened way. That would be a waste.
It’s no secret that I’m a huge Kacey Musgraves fan, and her song Slow Burn pretty much sums up where I am right now. (If you haven’t heard it, go to YouTube and look up her live performance of it at the CMA Awards — perfection.) When I heard her sing this live last week in Charlotte, I knew what the song meant to me, and I was so happy when I later read that the song means the same to her.
“It’s just an ode to the pace of something unfolding in a nice and slow way. …The best things in life are a slow burn — something you enjoy the journey of,” said Kacey on The Boot website.
I can’t say that I’m enjoying my journey right now, but I am grateful for it. The lessons I’m learning and the beauty I’ve seen in the last few months can’t be predicted or purchased. And somewhere underneath all this sadness and uncertainty, Winks of Goodness flitter around like fire flies, lighting my way back to life.
So every morning, I wake up and keep my eyes peeled for the good stuff — a kiss on the cheek from my husband, hugs from my kids, snuggles from our cats, the random person holding the door, and all the sweet souls who’ve lost their mothers and share their stinging stories with me.
As Kacey sings in Slow Burn, “Old soul waiting my turn, I know a few things, but I’ve still got a lot to learn, so I’m alright with a slow burn.”
I’m getting to the point where I’m all right with it, too.
Every Friday I share the Winks of GoodnessI experienced throughout the week in the hopes of inspiring you to do the same thing. (I realize that it’s Sunday, but Friday was our 16th wedding anniversary, and John took the day off. The last thing I wanted to do was look at a screen. Then yesterday, Saturday, was the month anniversary of mom’s passing, and I didn’t feel like looking at a screen then either, as grief is for real.) So back to Weekly Winks. I’ve found that writing down and formally acknowledging these suckers gives them more power. I encourage you to share your own Weekly Winks on my site (still figuring some technical stuff out on that if you have trouble) or social media. So look around and write it down — share the goodness.
Saturday — Our next-door neighbor’s dog (Cade) jumped up on the hammock with me while I was reading. He is the sweetest thing.
Sunday— I had a much-needed meltdown while taking a walk. It felt good to get some of this sadness out.
Monday — I volunteered in Graydon’s fourth grade classroom. These kids were so inquisitive that I thought their arms were going to fall off from raising their hands so much. I clearly need to start having what they’re having. NOTE: Teachers are amazing!
Tuesday— Found a smiley face magic eight ball when I helped my dad clean off his desk. Score!
Wednesday— Larry the butterfly (the butterfly that appeared in Graydon’s class two days after mom’s memorial service) took flight. Go, Larry, go!
Thursday — Had my picture taken with a neon butterfly at the Kacey Musgrave’s concert. (If you’ve never listened to Kacey’s music, go do it right now. Go!) Follow Your Arrow is one of my favorite songs of all time, along with a ton of her other songs. She is awesome sauce, pure and simple.
Friday— Saw a little turtle sunning on a log at the pond at Roosevelt Park. Nothing was bothering this dude.
Meet Shelly, nature’s yield sign, as well as the official state reptile of North Carolina.
Photography by Lori K. Tate
Every Friday I share the Winks of Goodness I experienced throughout the week in the hopes of inspiring you to do the same thing. I’ve found that writing down and formally acknowledging these suckers gives them more power. I encourage you to share your own Weekly Winks on my site (still figuring some technical stuff out on that if you have trouble) or social media. So look around and write it down — share the goodness.
Saturday — Margot and I went to the Yiasou Greek Festival in Charlotte. For a play-by-play of that adventure, read the Two Tickets to Paradise entry. Opa!
Sunday— Margot played with my hair all afternoon, trying all sorts of styles she found online, while I worked on a freelance story — best working conditions ever.
Monday — Walked with my soul sister, Regina, in the afternoon after turning in said freelance story. So lucky to have her in my life!
Tuesday— The Tots and I discovered an Eastern Box Turtle in our driveway before school. For those who don’t know, the Eastern Box Turtle is the official state reptile of North Carolina and was designated as such in 1979. In addition, these guys are beautiful. Margot named him Shelly.
Wednesday— My acupuncturist and I had an enlightening conversation about the significance of seeing a turtle. Upon further reflection, I realized three turtles have crossed my path in the past few weeks. Time to slow down.
Thursday — Mrs. Ann, one of my favorite teachers at my children’s school, helped The Tots get out of the van at morning drop-off. She was wearing a beautiful pink T-shirt that read “Be Kind.” She is such a kindred spirit. I just love her.
Friday— Found out that Jimmy Buffett is coming to Charlotte in April. He knows I need him.
These are the tickets that allowed Margot and I to ride the magic teacups at the Yiasou Greek Festival.
Photography by Lori K. Tate
As the mother of twins, I love spending one-on- one time with my children. It doesn’t happen often, but once in a while the calendar throws a day at me when I can go on a date with my son or have girl time with my daughter. Last Saturday was such a day.
John and Graydon headed to the mountains for a waterskiing lesson, leaving Margot and I an entire Saturday to fill with fun. For days I kept thinking of something cool to do. Sure, there’s shopping, and even though I love to shop and she loves to shop, I wanted to do something more than that. I wanted to share an experience with her. Enter the Yiasou Greek Festival.
This festival began more than 40 years ago at Holy Trinity Greek Orthodox Cathedral in Charlotte’s Dilworth neighborhood. My own mother took me to me to it when I was young— all the way from rural Cabarrus County. For years I treasured my bright blue plastic cup that read “Yiasou” because it was so big city.
When I discovered the festival was going on this past weekend, I jumped at the chance to share this experience with Margot. Clad in our sundresses and crossbody purses, we headed south on I-77 for a day of culture. After spending 30 minutes finding a parking space, the first lesson of big city living for Margot on Saturday, we walked to the festival.
A kind soul gave me a free ticket when I walked up to the gate, and off we went. Margot’s first order of business was finding the face painting booth, which is by far the most important feature of any festival for her demographic. That and cotton candy.
After scoping out the menu, she asked the woman wearing Cleopatra-style make-up (which she actually pulled off) to paint a unicorn on her arm. (It was either going to be a unicorn or a mermaid, but the unicorn generally wins.) This talented woman painted the cutest unicorn ever on my child, and our festival fun continued with a stop in the beautifully painted sanctuary and a trip to the rides section.
Let it be known that were no rides when I was a kid at the festival, but now there are, and even though they are small, they are to be respected as I soon learned. First, Margot rode the swings, which I was too tall for, so I just watched her and took photos like every other mom in America does in an effort to chronicle each second of their children’s lives. Then we saw the spinning teacups.
This wasn’t your ordinary teacup ride. No, these were spinning teacups that swung around — continuously. Realizing that this was a two-person ride, I suddenly thought of all the times my mother did something for me out of her comfort zone that she didn’t want to do — riding the waterslide with me at Lake Myers, staying at the hotel pool with me while all of her friends did something else, riding Space Mountain at Disneyworld, the list goes on. So off I went to buy more tickets for the ride.
While waiting in line, we met another little girl we’ll call “Sally.” She seemed to be alone and asked if we would ride with her. “Of course,” I said, not knowing what I was setting myself up for. Sally proceeded to tell us all about herself, including how she rode this same ride at age 3 only to throw up after. With that bit of sharing, we hopped into our teacup and immediately began steering the wheel to make it spin as fast as possible.
Sure it was hot, and I had only eaten a banana that morning, but I was fine, I told myself. That is until we began swinging and spinning at the same time. At first I closed my eyes behind my sunglasses to try and comfort the terrible discomfort that was taking over my body. Sally kept spinning, and so did Margot until she noticed that her mother was about to hurl. Immediately my daughter removed her hands from the steering wheel, and to be fair, so did Sally after I made the official proclamation that I didn’t feel well.
I scanned the area for any buckets that might be available for my use, and finally laid my head on the steering wheel praying to any Greek God that was available to make this torture device stop. (Fun fact, the rides at the Greek Festival last at least twice as long as the ones at Carowinds.)
We eventually came to a stop, and I was able to pull myself together without getting sick in front of everyone, their gyros and our new friend, Sally. Sure it was a Wink of Goodness that the ride stopped, but it was an even bigger Wink to see how concerned my sweet Margot was about me. She kept asking how I was doing and made sure I was okay. She held my hand while we walked into an air-conditioned building so I could cool off.
We spent the rest of the day eating, browsing colorful crafts and watching some spectacular Greek dancing (how can those guys kick that high?), but the highlight for me was being with my girl and seeing yet again what a beautiful person she is. Opa!
Lake Tillery, home of my favorite hammock in the world.
Photography by Lori K. Tate
Every Friday I share the Winks of Goodness I experienced throughout the week in the hopes of inspiring you to do the same thing. I’ve found that writing down and formally acknowledging these suckers gives them more power. I encourage you to share your own Weekly Winks on my site (still figuring some technical stuff out on that if you have trouble) or social media. So look around and write it down — share the goodness.
Saturday— I finally made it to Lake Tillery, where I got to lounge in my favorite hammock in the world. This is my happiest happy place.
Sunday— The Tots and I played fetch with the resident dog at Lilly’s Bridge Marina at Lake Tillery. Who knew such joy could come from a slobbery tennis ball.
Monday— My son, Graydon, and I walked the two-mile loop at the lake. He held my hand on and off. That never gets old.
Tuesday— I rearranged my home office in order to begin some kind of fresh start. (Fingers crossed that this clears the fog that is plaguing my brain.) Now I have a panoramic view of the trees in our back yard. Why didn’t I do this years ago?
Wednesday—Designing Women is officially on Hulu. I cannot stress enough how awesome this show is and how it so accurately portrays strong southern women. Watch it! Go watch it now!
Thursday— The breeze felt like a baptism today.
Friday— The high school football players worked carpool this morning at The Tots’ school for Spirit Day. Their bright blue jerseys are so cheerful, and I love seeing the different ages of students help and support each other. Go Spartans!
